This post is not so much focused on riding as it is a personal reflection, something that i am sure many people find themselves doing at this time of year.
As I have increased my cycling activity i have sought out additional challenges which go with it but unfortunately the battle with myself consistently holds me back. See the thing is i suffer from depression. I have dealt with this on and off for some time now and i guess in one way have just learnt to live with the highs and the lows but it is a load that is difficult to carry. It essentially stems from the fact that i have never been a confident person in my own right. I am shy and reserved. I have always kept people at arms length and have only really committed myself 100% to my wife and kids.My friends dont really "know" me nor have i encouraged them to find out. I find it difficult meeting new people and dealing with new social situations and take the smallest things to heart.
With cycling it is essentially an individual sport and a lot of people are happy with that, i am happy with that, most of the time, but i also like to push myself physically and mentally, cycling allows me to do both. The trouble is with the issues that i carry around trying to take the step of joining a club, a group or just a social ride with people i dont know is a challenge. What if i make a fool of myself? what if i cant keep up? what if they dont like me? what if i fail? so typically i will just give up on it and go for a ride by myself and wallow. This has meant i have missed out on some fantastic opportunities being the inaugural "Dirty Dozen" ride in Adelaide, countless group rides as part of the Adelaide Cyclists community and it is delaying me joining a Cycling Australia Club. I have had offers from different people to come out an join them to race etc but have found excuses not to attend which i can usually rationalize with myself. The trouble is that it leaves me in a black hole for a period of time after and that takes a lot of energy to dig myself out of. I am slowly getting on top of this and i am now at a stage where it is 2 steps forward and 1 step back, not the reverse as it has been the last 18months or so.
I want more than anything to experience all that this sport has to offer but it will take me time, perseverance and some more blood, sweat and tears to get there....i am lucky to have the help and support of my wife and kids but it is such a burden on them. As a man it is difficult to discuss these things and there is unfortunately a stigma attached to depression and mental illness as a whole but even more so with the male population. I am yet to discuss this in any great detail with a professional yet so it is not fair of me to tall anyone else to do so who find them in a similar situation. All i can say is talk to SOMEONE, a friend, a colleague, your partner. Internalizing is not the best remedy.
I know this post seems like a bit of a jumble, a nonsensical rambling and somewhat self indulgent but i needed to get a few things out of my head, hopefully soon i will be back to discussing the trials and tribulations of CYCLING, not just about me.
As a side note i have decided on a club to join which is Port Adelaide Cycling Club (PACC) at time when i can hopefully have a go at it.
Sunday, 9 December 2012
Thursday, 6 September 2012
The Beginning
well where to start? I am 31, a husband to the love of my life, a father to a 5yo Daughter and a 2 year old son whom i worship, i work in my families Financial Planning firm where i am the operations manager and studying to be a planner, I'm a son to a devoted mother and I try to be the best friend I can be.
I have probably started this blog a little late as I have achieved many of my short term goals within my first 12 months of cycling and life goal setting so I wont go in to much detail around what has occurred previously but will try to detail my experiences from now on. Cycling and fitness are my personal passions outside of my family.
It may have come from a small mid life crisis but I decided one day to start a bucket list and one item of that was to complete the Tour Down Under (TDU) BUPA challenge stage. This is a stage of the pro race that allows participants the opportunity to ride exactly the same course as the pro teams...but lets not get too far ahead.
I basically set this as a goal on my bucket list in April 2011, not having ridden a bike for about 5 years and my longest ride was approximately 30kms! (the TDU Stage was 142kms).
TAX TIME! my favorite time of the year! I managed to get a decent tax return and after some investigations managed to get my hands on a Malvern Star Oppy A5, an entry level road bike with Shimano 105 components. I picked the bike up at the end of July/Start of August.
The ride was fast approaching so many kms training and some good milestones like my first trips up the S.Exy, Old Willunga Hill and my first 100km ride passed i was in good form come the TDU. I completed the ride easily and racked up 150kms for the day which is still my longest ride to date.
I was bitten by the cycling bug well and truly. I always envisioned that this would be a one time event then i would move on but it is not just a hobby now, it is a way of life.
I was lucky enough early on to find a group in Adelaide called Adelaide Cyclists who have over 2700 members who are essentially an online community who share ideas, ask questions and organize rides. Great supportive group of people and I have made some great friends through this community and participated in, and missed some great events. One of the ones that i missed was the first Adelaide Dirty Dozen ride. I am seriously unhappy about missing this and will kick myself for a long time about being lazy and not backing my own ability. I would rather live with the frustration of trying something and failing than the disappointment of not trying....i have to live with this disappointment now.
That is where i suppose i started. Now new goals have been added. I am looking to join a cycling club in South Oz to compete in some racing, I have set myself to complete the Cancer Voices SA Livestrong day Ride in Adelaide on October the 7th, Amy's Ride in November and am taking the week off for the TDU to travel around (on my bike) and follow/stalk the pro's!
So where to now? I have been off the bike for about 6 weeks now due to numerous factors like work, weather, magpies and attitude. Now that I have some major rides coming up and my desire to join a club and also compete in some triathlons over summer i need to get my butt into gear. When I feel my attitude start to go pear shaped I like to look at the following which is on the top tube of the Sky Racing team bikes....
I hope you will enjoy the ride as I take you on a journey of the trials and tribulations of being Adelaide Rider and hopefully achieving the goals I have set in now and the ones sure to come!
 |
| Jodan (L) and Maddi (R) |
I have probably started this blog a little late as I have achieved many of my short term goals within my first 12 months of cycling and life goal setting so I wont go in to much detail around what has occurred previously but will try to detail my experiences from now on. Cycling and fitness are my personal passions outside of my family.
It may have come from a small mid life crisis but I decided one day to start a bucket list and one item of that was to complete the Tour Down Under (TDU) BUPA challenge stage. This is a stage of the pro race that allows participants the opportunity to ride exactly the same course as the pro teams...but lets not get too far ahead.
I basically set this as a goal on my bucket list in April 2011, not having ridden a bike for about 5 years and my longest ride was approximately 30kms! (the TDU Stage was 142kms).
 |
| Malvern Star Oppy A5 |
The ride was fast approaching so many kms training and some good milestones like my first trips up the S.Exy, Old Willunga Hill and my first 100km ride passed i was in good form come the TDU. I completed the ride easily and racked up 150kms for the day which is still my longest ride to date.
 |
| me and my Father in Law after the TDU ride |
I was bitten by the cycling bug well and truly. I always envisioned that this would be a one time event then i would move on but it is not just a hobby now, it is a way of life.
I was lucky enough early on to find a group in Adelaide called Adelaide Cyclists who have over 2700 members who are essentially an online community who share ideas, ask questions and organize rides. Great supportive group of people and I have made some great friends through this community and participated in, and missed some great events. One of the ones that i missed was the first Adelaide Dirty Dozen ride. I am seriously unhappy about missing this and will kick myself for a long time about being lazy and not backing my own ability. I would rather live with the frustration of trying something and failing than the disappointment of not trying....i have to live with this disappointment now.
That is where i suppose i started. Now new goals have been added. I am looking to join a cycling club in South Oz to compete in some racing, I have set myself to complete the Cancer Voices SA Livestrong day Ride in Adelaide on October the 7th, Amy's Ride in November and am taking the week off for the TDU to travel around (on my bike) and follow/stalk the pro's!
So where to now? I have been off the bike for about 6 weeks now due to numerous factors like work, weather, magpies and attitude. Now that I have some major rides coming up and my desire to join a club and also compete in some triathlons over summer i need to get my butt into gear. When I feel my attitude start to go pear shaped I like to look at the following which is on the top tube of the Sky Racing team bikes....
 |
| Sky Racing bikes top tube |
My Bucket List
My obsession with cycling started from the creation of my Bucket List. This is just a collection of experiences that I want/ed to achieve through my life in no particular order
- Get a tattoo
Swim with sharkscompleted this one in 2010- Shoot a gun
- Learn to dance
Take my kids and wife to Disney Land (October 2013)- Go to a baseball game at Yankee Stadium
Ride the full Tour Down Under Challenge StageCompleted first one in 2011- Attend a live UFC event
Get weight down to 85kg'scompleted in 2011. started at 100kg, currently 80kg- Go to the Tour de France
- Compete in and complete a triathlon
Join a cycling club (joined PACC 2013)Compete in a criterium race (competed in and WON November 2013)Compete in a road race (competed in and WON mid 2013)
There will no doubt be more and more added to this as time goes on but it gives me something to shoot for!
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